Well, shit. I think I accidentally deleted all of my photos on my blog. Blah.

I guess I need to update the world. Yes, I'm alive y'all but barely. This is week fourish?? of life post-Austin, post-college, pretty much post-social life. What have I been doing? Oh, you know just trying to beat my personal record in Tetris, watching insane amounts of talk show debuts ( like seriously everyone and their mother has a talk show), picking up random hobbies, writing cover letters upon cover letters, sulking,etc...

I will say after watching too much day-time trash TV I  feel either really good about myself or really bad. For example, after watching Maury I feel fantastic! Woo at least I'm not like "Mary" bringing in 4 men trynna figure out who her baby daddy is. Or like "Amanda", who is a 14-year-old who is gon have her a baby....When I'm at rock bottom I just know at least it ain't Maury rock bottom.

But then sometimes there are really inspirational people on these talk shows. Like on Ellen or Anderson or Ricki Lake or Jeff Probst or Katie...the list goes on. It sucks. Especially when it's people my age. Doing something great. Changing the world. Doing other shit than scroll through CareerBuilder.com and playing Tetris. AND to top it all off there are always segments on dating and commercials for online dating. Sheesh. Ugh stop with all the social pressure to find "love" and settle down. I'm still figuring out how to be a grown up. Also, friends just a PSA: DO NOT GIVE OUT MY NUMBER TO STRANGERS. PLEASE. It puts me in a really awkward position and I don't like it.

Anyways, one of the greatest speeches ever given was by Mr. Steve Jobs. In case you haven't heard it: A)Do you live under a rock? B) Go watch it, silly!

He ends it, "Stay hungry. Stay foolish." It has always been one of my favorite quotes but lately it has  been my least. I hate it. I can't stand to hear it. Why? Because I'm hungry for something more. No, I'm starving for something more. What do you do when you're hungry but you don't know what you're hungry for? How do you fulfill that hunger-- that need to fill this void. Currently, I just feel like I'm more on the foolish side of this advice.

I get it; it's been less than a month and I need to be patient. Something will come along, my hard work will pay off, blah blah. I mean how patient are you when you're hungry? Not very. I feel like I'm just a grumpy old woman that watches too much day time TV. Okay I'm not really laying on the couch, and I'm keeping myself busy but this is not what I want from my life-- to feel like I'm doing absolutely nothing worthy.

I'm trying. I really am. I mean life, could ya throw me a bone in the mean time?

xox,

Sandra/Mailan